The Framework.

It is now mid-August. Two months ago I had become seriously interested in becoming a surrogate. The timing was right, it had been a year after my daughter's arrival and I just "knew" I should begin researching. Originally I had posted a Classifieds Ad looking for parents interested in a natural approach to conception, pregnancy and birth. I knew it would be a challenge....I am so confident in trusting my own body, while these other women have felt tormented and betrayed by their own. It is hard to make something so unnatural as surrogacy into something seemingly "organic," but, I figured I could give it a shot. Funds were so tight during my first pregnancy that I rarely had a chance to truly enjoy the little things...This is another reason why I have decided to become a surrogate--to have an amazing birth experience, as my first was...horrible? Misleading? Words can't describe that one. Anywhoo...Moving along...

Ideally this "natural" approach would mean no IVF. So, enter traditional surrogacy. Conception would happen in a comfortable, low-stress environment, ideally home insemination. I wouldn't take fertility pills (ex. Clomid), and would instead keep a very detailed chart of my Basal Body Temperature, cycle and fluids. I would make an effort to keep in the habit of health conscious eating (example: I WANT this cheeseburger today...and tomorrow I won't eat one!...Okay, just kidding. Always healthy *chants to self*) and daily exercise. I would take only prenatal vitamins, no other pills, and would use homeopathic remedies or chiropractic care during the pregnancy as needed. And...the big aspect of my ideal surrogacy...A home birth.

It is so hard to find intended parents that aren't apprehensive to this approach, and many have done so much research into surrogacy that they feel these rules have been set in stone and are not, simply-put, examples. I felt that after posting I was having to convince these intended parents why I should have the pregnancy I want, when the true benefit is for their child... I told myself I wouldn't settle and the right couple would come along.

As I began talking with couples, I soon began to realize that distance was going to be an issue, especially as a mother of a one-year old that is still comfort nursing. Luckily, I am in California where surrogacy laws are liberal...and the ease is multiplied when intended parents are also within the state of CA. Most of the intended parents I had talked to were generally located in Southern California, still a plane flight away, and too far to make it easy to properly acquaint the belly to the parents, in my opinion, a huge part in bonding with a surrogate child.

So, the criteria is now at:
Must be local (San Francisco Bay Area, California)
Must trust my body
Must trust their body
Must open their home for insemination
Must trust homeopathic remedies
Must be open to Midwifery
Must be open to home birthing

I also had other wants/needs....I wanted parents excited for the pregnancy, as well as the child. Meaning, I was open and encouraging involvement in prenatal appointments, the pregnancy itself and, as I mentioned before, being properly acquainted with the belly.

...Would I find all of these things? Maybe, and I was willing to wait.